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  • Writer's pictureWendiFournier

The Art of Self-Love

Updated: May 23, 2022

Love one, love all. At some point, we’ve all, hopefully, heard this saying before and consciously practice it in our daily lives. But have you ever stopped a moment to think that you are part of the “all”? When we choose to love all, we must not forget the art of self-love. And there are many reasons why adopting this concept is important to a happy, healthy, and productive lifestyle.


Growing up, we’re taught to put others first. We’re taught about success, how to climb the corporate ladder, and making money. We’re taught to work hard, and if there’s no pain then there’s no gain. But what we aren’t taught is how to keep ourselves fueled for the journey.

Self-love is the fuel for our soul. Without it, our entire system will come to a rumbling halt and leave us stalled on the track only to watch others zip past. Like most humans in our world, I’ve been there before, and quite possibly you have too.

You may be wondering what any of this has to do with writing and achieving author goals. I will answer in one easy word: EVERYTHING!

Self-love is like magic. The moment we start loving ourselves, we experience positive changes in our mindset. Life shifts into focus, and with it, turns to full color. We move forward with more ease and purpose. Pieces snap into place and make sense. And life feels pretty darn good—over-the-top good!

When you learn to love yourself, you will:

Gain a True Sense of Self

Self-love encourages you to take care of your own needs. By doing so, you will blossom into the person you have always imagined yourself to be. And with that comes a positive lifestyle filled with a world of happiness and acceptance.

Self-love, contrary to what some think, is not about boasting how great you are. People who healthily love themselves accept their imperfections. They know they are flawed and make mistakes (as with every human on this planet), yet they accept and care about themselves despite their imperfections. Achieving self-love means you give yourself the same kindness and respect that you show toward those around you.

Prevent Self-Sabotage

Say goodbye to destructive behavior. You can temporarily feel upset, angry, or disappointed with yourself and still loveyourself. Think of your relationship with yourself as you do with those you hold dear and near. Even though you may be upset or angry at your son or daughter or husband or wife, you do not stop loving them. The same holds for you.

As you learn to grow the love inside you, it will become easier to accept all the good in your life.

Ditch the Victim Mentality

Self-love allows you to take ownership of your life. How you decide to play your role in this world is ultimately up to you. Lessons are learned, not negated.

Give Love Without Feeling Depleted

Without a self love mantra in place, it becomes difficult to keep enough love in the tank to go around. When this happens you’re likely to experience a sense of emptiness and exhaustion because what you give is essentially coming from drained place. Fill your tank first, so you feel energized as you spread the love around.

Find Happiness

Long-lasting happiness comes from within so stop looking around you. You will not find it. The more love you show yourself, the better you will feel. You will become more focused and motivated. You will become energized and gain a new zest for life. Self-love allows you to celebrate the freedom of being YOU and every single aspect of your life. Embrace it!

We have talked about what self-love is and the benefits, but how do we recognize self-love? Below are a few examples of how you can tell if your heart is full or drained dangerously low:

✓Pursuing your interests and goals

✓ Challenging yourself

✓Recognizing your strengths

✓ Holding yourself accountable

✓ Saying positive words to yourself

✓ Accepting your imperfections

✓ Setting realistic expectations

✓ Noticing your progress and effort

✓Forgiving yourself when you mess up

✓Making healthy choices

Now can you see where these qualities come into play as a writer?

The magic of learning to love yourself is powerful. Self-love is the foundation that allows you to be assertive, set boundaries and foster healthy relationships with others, practice self-care, pursue your interests and goals, and feel proud of who you are. That last one is a biggie!

“It is love, has been love, will always be love that makes the biggest difference in our world.” – Scott Stabile



Love yourself truly, endlessly, and a little better than you did yesterday. Before you know it, the needle on your gauge will point to full!

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